Thought of the day: Where does stage fright come from?
Summer is dawning on me more and more lately - I can't sleep at night due to anticipation; I can't get myself out of bed in the morning, also out of anticipation. But I'm pushing through this week, for the week is almost half over already, and it's sure to be great; today was more review, movie-watching and fun. History was all but the same, except that my teacher was going stir-crazy just letting us do silent work and so he talked about World War I and the current issues in Iraq, which was rather interesting to hear about. Programming was, well, programming, but it wasn't half bad; we're now making our own game for the upcoming final, and it's coming along nicely. Chorus has been rather fun, as well; today, we listened to solos from some of the members, and they all sounded wonderful. Mary sang Titanium, and she sounded great, even though she was nervous for some reason, despite not really being afraid of other's opinions. She encouraged me to sing a solo sometime this week or on Monday; I might, I don't know. I wouldn't know what to sing for a solo, and if I got up there, I don't know if I could get any words out without panicking and cracking my voice. I don't know why I have such terrible stage fright - I'm not all that afraid of judgment. I moderately like my singing voice, and others have given me encouragement that I can sing decently, so it's not that; perhaps it's my low self-esteem that gets to me. Maybe if I can work on that a bit more, I'll sign up to sing on Monday. But what song? Oh, there's so many. I'd go with a popular song, but that seems too cliche/over-used. I'd go with an obscure song, but then people wouldn't connect to it or understand where it was from. I'm trying to find a song with some sort of middle ground; mayhaps a Coldplay or Paramore song, maybe The Only Exception? If only I could drag Josh out of AP Calc so he could come listen. Maybe. Theatre Arts today was interesting; first we had a fire drill, and had to step out into the humidity, which interrupted us finishing our movie; we were less than five minutes from finishing it today. Perhaps I'm grateful for that - and don't get me wrong, Marathon Man is a great movie - suspense/thrillers just aren't my type of movie. Also, no gore, or secret government agents. No thank you, I'll stick with my Disney movies. But ah well, it was a great movie despite my bias against suspense and thrillers. Luckily I didn't have to take the bus or walk home today, as Josh had an orthodontist appointment and a lawn to mow after school, and so he was able to drive to school and drive me home, which was nice. I keep glimpsing to the future, which may sound silly, but all the small things like this make me have something to look forward to. But hopefully Josh didn't die of heat today; or pain for that matter, as getting braces tightened is just as much fun. Which is to say, not at all. Ah well, I just wish him well. When I got home, I curled up on the couch in fetal position with the air conditioner right in front of me and took a short nap, and then had some delicious Moose Tracks ice cream, which I'm sure I'll pay for in weight later. Oh well; soon, running, soon. May this upcoming Friday be ever in my favor; a half day, two exams, and I have the rest of the day with Josh. Perhaps we'll get to play tennis again, or maybe even run if it's nice out. Whatever it is, Friday is sure to be fun. Until then, go in peace.
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